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Sunday, April 30, 2006


Close friends know about my "benders."

For a while, I'll O.D. on "The Beverly Hillbillies," or westerns, or "The Flintstones," or "The Andy Griffith Show," or Johnny Cash, or a specific album, or a specific movie. I'll watch/listen to them endlessly.

I call 'em "benders," as in, "I've been on an 'Exile on Main Street' bender lately."

My current benders are "The Creation of the Humanoids," the sci-fi stinker I wrote about in my last Web column, and songs by -- believe it or not -- Bonnie Raitt and John Denver.

I've watched "Humanoids" five times now. Every time I watch it, I glean new nuggets of information (which are imbedded deeply within the film's INSUFFERABLE DIALOGUE). Such as: Cragus, the leader of the Order of Flesh and Blood, has an embarrassing problem -- his SISTER is LIVING OPENLY with a ROBOT! That's right -- THEY'RE AN ITEM! (Cragus and his sister are both infertile because as children, they would sneak out at night and play in the atomic ruins, which glowed blue.) Then -- spoiler alert -- Cragus finds out that HE'S a robot! And so is his NEW GIRLFRIEND! But with "a few simple operations," the robot couple can HAVE BABIES!

I'm almost afraid of what I might pick up on the sixth viewing.

On the music front, I've been listening to Bonnie Raitt and John Denver for the first time in my life because, well, I was getting rid of some of Kathy's CDs ... but I couldn't bear to part with them without giving them a spin ... and they made me think of ... well, you know.

Songs in my Bonnie Raitt bender: "That Song About the Midway," "Rainy Day Man" and "Angel From Montgomery" from "Streetlights," and "Love Has No Pride" from "Give it Up." Songs in my John Denver bender: "My Sweet Lady," "Take Me Home, Country Roads," "Sunshine on My Shoulder" and "Friends With You."

I'm SO lame.

A digression: When John Denver was asked to testify during the Parents Music Resource Center hearings in the '80s, which led to warning stickers on CDs, he was meant to represent "good" lyrics (as opposed to those of Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider, another who testified). Did Tipper Gore ever LISTEN to John Denver's lyrics? I'm telling you -- there are more pot references than a Cheech and Chong movie!


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