Subscribe Now!
GannettUSA Today

Sunday, April 09, 2006

RETURN OF THE MORONS

Alcoholic 40-somethings of South Jersey with nothing to do on Friday nights, rejoice! My band is officially back together.

I just returned from "jamming" (a.k.a. rehearsing) with my idiot friends from high school. (I'm 47, so high school was a lo-o-ong time ago.) Karch plays lead guitar; Fro is our drummer; Voger (my "little" brother) plays bass; and Elder (that's me) sings and plays guitar.

Karch and Voger tell me that the "pots" (whatever THEY are) on my B.C. Rich Mockingbird need cleaning; that I should change my rusty strings; and that I should learn how to use an electric tuner, for cryin' out loud. (When it comes to the technical aspects of the electric guitar, I'm no rocket scientist.)

We're planning to play a few dark, dingy dives back home in the swamps of South Jersey, some time between Halloween and Thanksgiving. At least three shows. (Whatever we do, we must halt activity between Nov. 18 and Jan. 2, because Fro is a jeweler and he'll be up to his schnozz in diamonds.) Our three-hour show is a mix of classic rock and classic-rock-influenced originals.

We call our drummer Fro because back in high school, he had a huge mane of curly hair. (At least, I THINK that was the reason. There may be some disgusting explanation I'm not remembering.) I'm "Elder" because my brother and I have the same nickname -- "Voger" -- and in order to distinguish between us, they used to call us "Elder Voger" and "Younger Voger." Then they shortened it to "Elder" and "Voger."

In the first place, we were nicknamed "Voger" because a cook at the diner where we both washed dishes back in the '70s was woefully incapable of pronouncing our surname, "Voglesong"; it came out as "Vogerson." Naturally, all of our idiot friends started calling us "Vogerson," and finally just "Voger." Years later, I took Voger as my pen name because, well, I once put something extremely vulgar in my college magazine (once?), and it disgusted my parents so much that I adopted a non de plume so as not to disgrace the family name. (My later readers always wondered why Kathy and I had such similar last names. Y'see, she kept our real surname as her photo credit.)

Time's up! Tune in for more of my band rehearsal report tomorrow!

Next: ATTACK OF THE SPLAWN

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home