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Sunday, June 18, 2006

PRONOUNCED "JOHN YOUNG"

More about The Burners' July 15 gig:

Our drummer this time around will be an old friend named John Young. He and I have been in bands together since 10th grade. Back then, nobody called him plain old "John"; it was ALWAYS "John Young."

Many of my favorite John Young stories cannot be shared in polite company, but this one always gives me a chuckle, besides serving as a reminder of just how stupid and reckless we were.

Once in 1976, when we were high-school seniors, John Young, myself and two other friends, Tom and Joe, cut school.

That day, we were driving around in Tom's giant, rusty 1953 Plymouth Savoy. But here's how we were driving it: Tom sat in the driver's seat working the gas, clutch and brakes. I sat in the front-passenger seat steering. John sat behind Tom, reaching over his shoulder to do the shifting. (This old tub had "three on the tree," not "four on the floor.")

After splitting a dozen donuts, we decided to go on some swings in a park just off the road. Suddenly, a Channel 6 Action News van pulled over and began filming us. (We were four vaguely hippie-ish high-school seniors, so we probably looked a sight.) We hammed it up for the camera, but after the van pulled away, we realized that if that footage were to be broadcast that evening, our parents would know we cut school.

Next, we pulled into the parking lot of the Moorestown Mall and commandeered two shopping carts. We began to play "chicken" -- two guys riding, two guys shoving. That's when inspiration struck.

While John Young was in one of the carts, the rest of us got a brilliant idea, which we quickly communicated via whispers and hand signals. The plan: Tom and Joe would run to hold open the doors of a nearby cafeteria-style restaurant, while I shoved the shopping cart (containing John Young) INTO the restaurant!

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?" John Young said as I began sprinting with the cart, but it was too late.

He careened into the restaurant. As a bonus, the cart had lodged itself into the cafeteria's railing, which poor John Young had a hard time getting his legs over. We rolled on the ground laughing as we watched John Young through the glass, struggling to get out of the cart while all these adults just stood there with their trays and watched.

You can't make this stuff up.

NEXT POST: THE MAESTRO

3 Comments:

Blogger Larry Grogan said...

That reminds me of the days "herding" shopping carts with my old station wagon.

10:29 AM, June 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey baby~~~~Happy Anniversary.
Looking forward to meeting you Elder. JM

1:20 AM, July 02, 2006  
Anonymous elder said...

I think I figured out who "JM" (writer of the above comment) is: John Young's girlfriend. Just a guess. Whoever you are, JM, I'll see you in Spicy Crabs 'ville.

12:56 AM, July 07, 2006  

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