BRUTALLY HONEST

One of my mottos -- and I don't say this self-servingly -- is: "Honesty is the best policy." I learned it from watching "Leave it to Beaver" reruns. Half the problems that poor kid had would evaporate if he only stopped with the coverups.

Richard Nixon could have learned a lot from Theodore Cleaver. But those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it.

When Nephew was only 4 and he said, "Batman is cool!" I said, "Yeah, Batman is cool!" Then when he said, "Turtles are cool!" (meaning the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), I said, "Turtles are beat!" ("Beat" was our slang for uncool.) Nephew had an initial look of confusion -- like, "Hey, this adult is not patronizing me" -- and then I saw the light go off. "Ah, Uncle Vogie disagrees with me. So that's how it works."

When Neice was 4 or 5, everyone would tell her how beautiful her blond curls were. But I told her, "You have the second-most beautiful hair in the family." (The first-most beautiful hair was my own. Ted Nugent WISHES he had my mop.)

I was also brutally honest with my Kathy. I always told her, "You are the second-most beautiful woman in the world." She knew who No. 1 was: French supermodel Laetitia Casta. Why should I have lied to her?