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Thursday, February 08, 2007

"FOR LOVERS ONLY" #63

Last week at my local comic shop, there was a bunch of tattered, early '70s Charlton Comics for 50 cents apiece. For fans of cheezy comics, this was a SCORE.

For you non-comic-book-geeks out there, Charlton was the distant, decidely poor cousin to DC and Marvel Comics. Charlton art wasn't as good, the stories weren't as good, the printing wasn't as good.

You know how Avis tried harder? Charlton DIDN'T.

The Charlton genres my shop had were romance, war and western. I bought 'em all. Today, I brought "For Lovers Only" #63 (1972) to the office. A girl I work with read every story! She said, "If you have any more, bring 'em in." I said, "I've got a stack of 'em!"

The stories are so laughable.

"More Than One Love" is about two couples who kind of flirt with each other, and then suddenly decide to swap. ALL FOUR people are cool with it! "There's nothing to stop you from kissing me now," says the trampy blonde in the final panel.

"What Do Parents Know?" is about a girl who rebels against her parents, gets in a car with a boy who drives too fast, and survives an accident in which a father of five is killed. "I really messed things up, didn't I?" she says from her hospital bed, her head swathed in bandages. Answers her wise daddy: "We all make mistakes, honey . . . We only hope you'll be wise enough not to go on making them!"

"The Ones That Got Away" is about a bickering couple who keep throwing old lovers in each other's faces. But when they MEET UP with those old lovers -- who, incidentally, have married EACH OTHER -- they are shocked to see that both of them have gained about 50 pounds. "Let's face it baby . . ." says hubby. "We're the greatest!" says wifey.

"Everything Wrong But the Kissing" examines professional ethics. A groovy young chick in a matching green miniskirt and go-go boots happens to be the quality inspector for a chain of motels. She is torn when the studly young manager of the Grand Tepee Lodge kisses her -- and she likes it!

The icing on the cake is that "For Lovers Only" #63 features a pinup page of SUSAN DEY.

Jealous?

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