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Wednesday, April 04, 2007


Nephew e-mailed me some news today that I can scarcely believe.

A major Hollywood player, Lauren Shuler Donner, is planning to make a ... a ... Metal Men movie?!

The Metal Men are somewhat obscure, usually humorous DC Comics characters, robots with human personalities who squabble, shape-shift and otherwise cause trouble for their inventor, Doc Magnus.

I made such a big noise about the news at the office that Movie Boy (who sits three workstations to the east of me) asked, "So, you think it's going to be a big deal?"

The point is, I DON'T think it's going to be a big deal. It's just that I'm positively dumbfounded that someone thinks a Metal Men movie would be marketable. But I am so down with the idea. As I've said in earlier Web columns -- OK, blogs -- I am the world's only Metal Men completist. I have every, every, every piece of MM memorabilia in existence. These are my characters, my boys. I've loved these guys since I was 8 years old. But the characters are so obscure that I've often felt like an audience of one.

"Are you the kind of person who hates it when a cult obsession goes mainstream?" asked Movie Boy.

I said, no, I'm THRILLED that more people are potentially going to learn about noble Gold, lovesick Platinum (nickname: "Tina"), hot-headed Mercury, strong Iron, loyal Lead, humble Tin and studly Doc Magnus.

Who, by the way, is not written or drawn correctly these days. Doc -- as originally conceived by writer/editor Robert Kanigher and artists Ross Andru and Mike Esposito (the character's creators) -- was President Kennedy in a lab coat, with Hugh Hefner's pipe dangling out of his mouth for good measure. He dated supermodels before they were CALLED supermodels. He'd bring them to his laboratory-complex and dance the latest '60s dances with them, right there in front of the robots! (It used to make Tina so jealous.)

Anyway, maybe now my dream book project, "The Metal Men Companion" (that's the subtitle; I still need a main title), will become a reality. Or maybe the whole thing will fall apart like half the comic-book movie adaptations that are announced. The latter scenario is more likely. But like the song sez, "You gotta have a dream/ if you don't have a dream/ how you gonna make a dream come true?"


Blogger Diana said...

What? No Titanium Hip-pie?

And Movie Boy (chuckle), what's he call you?

3:04 PM, April 05, 2007  
Blogger Mark Voger said...

There may have been a Titanium at some point. One time when Doc Magnus was fed up with the Metal Men, he whipped up some alternative ones. One of 'em fell in love with Tina.

Movie Boy calls me "Out-of-Touch (Expletive)."

6:42 PM, April 08, 2007  

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